Previously: Feyre would support a little slavery for her family.
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Feyre wakes up from a nightmare about the Suriel, the naga, and a "pale, faceless woman dragging her bloodred nails across my throat, splitting me open bit by bit. She kept asking for my name, but every time I tried to speak, my blood bubbled out of the shallow wounds on my neck, choking me."

I only have vague memories of the end of this book, but it feels like this is probably some #fortyshadowing. Why would Feyre be having prophetic dreams? This is straight from the school of Twilight, in which Bella was also always inexplicably dreaming about her never-timely-enough demise. I hate it.

Once Feyre calms down, she realizes that there are people shouting and screaming in the manor. Ever the queen of self-preservation and great decisions, she jumps out of bed to go investigate.

From the top of the stairs, Feyre watches as Tamlin carries in a faerie who is bleeding profusely. Lucien cleans off the table in the center hall. Feyre rushes downstairs and hears as Tamlin explains that the blue fae on the table was dumped just over their borderline. He belongs to the Summer Court. 

The Blue Fae cries about how "she" took his wings. Feyre, of course, assumes that "she" is the nameless "she" haunting the woods and also probably! her inexplicable prophetic dreams! I mean, I'm sure she's right, but why would Feyre be right about this, honestly? SJM gave this book like 5% effort.

Tamlin flicks his hand, and water and bandages appear on the table. I'm very confused by what Tamlin's powers are exactly, except for "does what the plot need at this very moment." Like did the supplies need to be one room over for him to summon them? Couldn't he have helped this man who is bleeding profusely out in the woods instead of dragging him back here? Will I ever learn to stop asking questions, even though I know there are absolutely no good answers? 

Feyre gets closer and sees that someone ripped the Blue Fae's wings off. The Blue Fae is freaking out a bunch, so Feyre helps hold him down.

I don't think I've pointed this out yet, but it happens frequently enough that it's worth mentioning. SJM has a habit of stripping Feyre of agency. We've seen the big examples (being taken by Tamlin, and we'll get to you soon enough, Rhysand), but there are also all these quieter moments where Feyre is never quite actively choosing anything. That is to say that Feyre is acting, but in a way where she can't or won't process her own choices or motivations. She's constantly doing things but has no idea why she's doing them. I think it might come more from bad writing than anything else, but it also neatly fits in with the larger examples and themes of lack of agency. 

Here's an example:

"It was instinct, or mercy, or desperation, perhaps, to grab the faerie’s upper arms and shove him down again, pinning him to the table as gently as I could."

What do you mean "perhaps?" And do you see how it cheapens her actions to have them divorced from choice? It means more for Feyre to hold him down because she understands, as a hunter and a world weary woman, that flailing will make it worse. But she's like idk why, but I do it. Girl, get a clue.

And like I said, this is just a little blip of a moment, but all of these things add up against the larger moments. I referenced this a bit when I was comparing the beginning of ACOTAR to the beginning of The Hunger Games, how it fundamentally changes the story to have Feyre being taken by Tamlin vs. Katniss volunteering herself for Prim. This is also a poor Beauty and the Beast retelling. In that story, Belle also volunteers herself for her father. Feyre is just taken and the rest of the story continues to be either Feyre lacking all agency, or using what agency she can scrape up to do the stupidest things she could possibly do at any given moment.

So we'll keep an eye out for how agency continues to play throughout the story.

Okay, so Feyre holds the Blue Fae down for whatever reason. 

"His skin was velvet-smooth and slippery, a texture I would never be able to paint, not even if I had eternity to master it."

1. I hate the "I wouldn't be able to paint it" thing as a repeated descriptor. Bitch, I don't know what you CAN paint. Telling me you can't paint something isn't helpful, please stop.

2. That's so weird. I guess you can capture different textures in painting, but smooth is something you can't paint?? Does she actually mean that her painting wouldn't feel smooth enough??? Look smooth enough??? Is it because his skin is somehow both velvety AND slippery, because yeah, that's weird. 

3. At least we get a painting shot. 

Tamlin asks Lucien for help, but Lucien is too busy puking into a potted plant. Feyre keeps holding the Blue Fae down and describing to us how much blood is gushing out of the wound. After we repeat that the Blue Fae's wings are missing again, Feyre has a lightbulb moment, and she realizes they should stop the bleeding! This guy is bleeding a lot over here! They should stop it! 

Tamlin explains that the wounds aren't clotting, and even though he has healing magic, he doesn't have this much healing magic because. Feyre realizes Blue Fae is going to die. She grabs his hand and comforts him. 

"It will be all right,” I said, and hoped he couldn’t smell lies the way the Suriel was able to. I stroked his limp hair, its texture like liquid night—another I would never be able to paint but would try to, perhaps forever."

And again.

Feyre promises Blue Fae that he'll get his wings back, you know, after death. Tamlin says a prayer of sorts. Blue Fae dies. Feyre keeps holding the dead fae's hand and stroking his wet night hair. Feyre stays there for a while, until Tamlin tells her that she has to let Blue Fae go.

A scene like this usually works a little better if we know or feel anything about anyone involved, but I mean, on the list of all the people we've already met, it's true that I probably feel the worst for this random Blue Fae who entered this house to die and make our terrible protagonist look slightly less terrible. 

Tamlin walks Feyre upstairs. She says they can't leave the Blue Fae dead on the hall table. Tamlin knows. He was just walking Feyre upstairs first. Feyre wants to go with to bury Blue Fae, but Tamlin says he has to go alone. 

Before he goes, Tamlin asks why (presumably why Feyre was kind to a dying fae), especially considering that Feyre doesn't even like fae and very famously murdered one. Feyre says that she wouldn't want to die alone. And she finally fully apologizes for being a murderer. She says that she had so much hate in her heart and wishes she could undo it. 

It just took 153 pages. 

Tamlin nods at her apology and turns away. Feyre briefly wonders if she should've said more, but Tamlin is moving fast like lightning! And so by the time she finishes thinking about saying more, Tamlin is already downstairs picking Blue Fae and carrying him outside. 

Feyre goes to her window and watches Tamlin carry the Blue Fae into the fields. She notes that he never looks back even once, but like, why would he? Did she want a little wave from the gate on his way to bury a body?

That was 7 Kindle pages and 20 em dashes. 

Next time: A picnic in chapter 18.

♥️

Mari